Exactly when did it become okay to abuse and denigrate women? The current Jian Ghomeshi scandal makes me consider the “outs” we’ve created for bad behaviour. Not familiar with the story? Check out details here.
THE UNDERCOVER ABUSER
Can’t beat my gal when she gets out of line? Whatever shall I do? I know! I’ll hold it all in and erupt into violence between the sheets. Don’t worry hun, they call it BDSM. Yeah, it’s a thing. In fact, if you don’t shut your face I just might bite back and accuse you of calling me a sexual deviant. And that just ain’t politically correct.
Perhaps an extreme example, but part of me thinks that BDSM is nothing more than a bunch of men who desperately want to assert dominance and control over women in a world where such activity is socially unacceptable. After all, the male breadwinner, mans work, stand by your man, etc. are all archaic phrases that are nothing short of laughable in this day in age. So is BDSM a sexual manifestation of a manhood lost? No, that can’t be right. Some men like to be the submissive, right?
Well, I’m no expert on BDSM. And I certainly don’t want to trouble a group struggling with acceptance issues long before Ghomeshi came along, but this arena is one where unacceptable abuse must run rampant. It’s like depression medication or welfare state support. These support outlets are necessary because there are plenty of cases where people are truly in need. However, there are also people that slip into these categories only to abuse the privileges they offer (a la Ghomeshi). Sexual predators can leverage this grey area to allow violent, entirely unacceptable behaviour under the guise of harmless and cheeky kink. I’m quite simply not a fan.
CONSENTING BDSM PRACTITIONER
I love and support women in every way by day, but kick, punch & choke them bitches by night. What? It’s the way I choose to express myself sexually.
As I write, I feel like one of those anti-terrorism activists-gone-wrong. You know, the ones that say things like “Go back to your own country” to Muslims. So to avoid being confused with this lot, I’m going to say that I am no expert on BDSM. I simply have questions about the roots of such sexual pleasure… For example, why is it okay for us to utter racial and misogynistic slurs during sex? The language, behaviours and viewpoints shared during these most intimate of activities remind me of celebrities that say all the right things in public, while holding unpopular or controversial opinions in private.
Call me old fashioned, but killing, beating or abusing anyone to get off is not acceptable.